What is Marital Mediation?
Let’s face it, all marriages have problems. The reality is that there are no perfect marriages and to make a happy and satisfying marriage, it takes a lot of work and effort. Unfortunately, it is not uncommon for couples facing marital problems to assume that their relationship is abnormal in comparison to others. This false perception combined with other factors frequently lead many couples to give up on their marriage and head to separation and divorce prematurely.
Luckily for those who want to save their marriage and want to achieve the marital relationship they desperately desire, there’s an option – marital mediation! Marital mediation, which is also known as mediation to remain married, is a perfect choice for couples who want to work through their issues, who want to save their marriage, and who want to develop a happy, fulfilling, and satisfying marital relationship going forward. With the guidance of a skilled mediator, couples in marital mediation are able to constructively negotiate their issues as they work towards mutually beneficial, practical solutions.
Is Marital Mediation the Same as Marital Counseling?
No. While both, marital mediation and marital counseling, are processes aimed towards helping couples save their marriage, there are key differences between the two.
To offer marital counseling, an individual must be a licensed therapist who has an educational and training background in mental health areas, like psychology or social work. In counseling, the therapist is able to delve into the interpersonal and psychological issues of couples in order to reach a treatment plan once an accurate diagnosis has been made. In other words, therapy normally approaches marital issues from a psycho-social perspective.
Marital mediation is different in that it approaches these marital conflicts from a dispute resolution perspective. Mediators are skilled in being able to resolve conflict and they use these skills to help couples resolve their problems. Mediators will spend little to no time venturing into the couple’s past as their focus is on their present situation and assisting the couple to develop a plan to get to their desired future. In many instances of conflict, either a lack of communication or breakdown in the communication process is often a root issue. As such, in mediation:
Marital Mediation or Marital Counseling, Which Should I Choose?
When trying to save their marriage, more people automatically think of marital counseling. Of these couples, some are willing to undergo therapy while others avoid it due to a perceived negative stigma associated with undergoing counseling.
On the other hand, marital mediation has been around for several years although it is still a relatively new specialization in the mediation field. For those who are reluctant to undergo counseling, mediation may be a viable option as these individuals may view it more favorably than counseling. In addition, mediation is also beneficial in cases where marital counseling didn’t help.
Ultimately, the choice is up to the couple as to whether they want to undergo counseling or mediation but here’s the thing – they don’t have to choose! Couples can elect to undergo both, marital mediation and marital counseling! In fact, some encourage or recommend couples undergo both simultaneously. Think of it this way – if you start to have some type of medical issue, you will see your regular doctor combined with one or more specialists to try to treat your illness. Both, mediation and counseling, are specialized areas that, when combined, can provide holistic treatment to marriages that are “ill”. The bottom line is to understand that mediation is not and can not take the place of counseling and counseling is not and can not take the place of mediation.
Is It Worth It?
At the Center for Dispute Resolution, our belief is that every marriage can be salvaged, restored, and transformed. Each year, people spend thousands of dollars and a tremendous amount of time and effort on things designed to better themselves, simplify their lifestyle, to lose weight, or to get themselves in better shape. Tragically, many people don’t put the same effort into making their marriages healthy. Marriage should be the most important physical relationship in our lives! If you value your marriage and want to transform your marriage into the relationship that both you and your spouse deserve, marital mediation, either by itself or in combination with counseling, may be able to assist you and your spouse in making your marriage into the union both of you want and deserve!
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